Does This Baby Come With a Manual?
By Rachel Lachapelle

So, what do I do now? The doctor has placed a baby on my chest and says, "It's a boy!" Immediately, I'm flooded with emotions of love, worry, uncertainty, and the thought that I am responsible for another life. How am I going to do this successfully?

Physically having a baby was difficult enough for my first son after being in labor for 13 hours and pushing for four of those hours; but knowing that my husband and I are now responsible for feeding this baby, bathing this baby, diapering this baby, and most of all, giving it all of our love and attention is frightening.

I mean everything else comes with a manual. Lawn mowers come with a manual, appliances come with a manual, computers come with a manual, and even puppies come with instructions (and I can leave them home by themselves). So, why don't babies come with a manual? And furthermore, if I am not satisfied with my item, I can always return it; but babies don't come with a 30-day money-back guarantee. They usually don't come with a warranty either.

What I am learning is not to always follow the advice of everyone around me. I do not want to make the mistake of listening to other people's experiences and opinions they give; although, I have to admit, they are helpful at certain times, but only when I ask for them. My mother-in-law annoys me to no end every time my baby cries, because she thinks I am starving my son to death by breast-feeding him. I have to be firm with her and just say to her, "Listen, you had never even breast-fed your children. How can you possibly know what this is about?" To comfort myself, I brought my son to a professional, so he could be examined, and my son checked out okay. Opinions from outsiders, I believe, can only cause unnecessary worry and anxiety when I already have enough to deal with.

Another thing I am learning is to allow my motherly instincts to guide me. If my baby is crying, it's common sense to think, well, maybe he needs to be changed, or maybe he needs to be fed, or maybe he is just tired. However, if the crying persists and nothing seems to work, then it is also common sense to take my baby to the pediatrician and have him checked out. I never want to take chances with my baby's life. Like the saying goes, "It's better to be safe than sorry."

Another thing I am learning is to relax. My baby is going to try my patience, especially when my sleep is deprived. I can no longer sleep until I feel rested; however, if I have a wonderful friend or family member who is willing to stay with my baby for awhile, then I can catch up on some sleep. At least for the first month or so until my baby sleeps through the night (or it could even take longer), my body is going to feel exhausted and my mind will not function as it used to. And the first time my baby sleeps through the night or even for more than four hours, it will seem like long-awaited bliss.

I am learning that my motherly instincts will alert me about my baby. As a new mother, believe it or not, my ears are tuned in for my baby's crying, even though I am so exhausted from waking up every two hours for his feeding. His cry is an alarm that goes off, and I can't sleep peacefully, until I know he is being taken care of. I believe I know when he is going to cry before he even does.

I am discovering as a mother that even though babies don't come with manuals, I can divide and conquer! Each day is filled with joy, worry, laughter (lots of laughter), and discouragement. And I am realizing that my motherly instincts and common sense are the best ways to handle my baby, along with a little advice; but only when I ask for it. If I can follow my own advice, my life with my baby should be a memorable and treasured experience.

Rachel G. LaChapelle is the website administrator for Baby Strollers and has been a stay-at-home mom for 14 years. Please visit her website for all sorts of discount baby items.

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